R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Randomize
