i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
