I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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