you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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