We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
