what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
