All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
