Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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