She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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