Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize