I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
