I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
