we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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