she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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