What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
