I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
