Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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