We need to rekindle our bromance
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
