I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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