I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
