We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
