woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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