I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize