We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
