pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
