I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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