Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
