his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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