just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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