I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
