Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
