how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
