only you would photoshop your dick
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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