sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
