your thong is hanging out like whoa
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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