I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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