I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize