Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
