I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
