Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I FOUND THE LEGS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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