Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I deserve this hangover.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
