I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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