We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
