i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
