Sponge bath it is.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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