in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
