at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
so much tequila, so little girl.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize