That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
