this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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