just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
