Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
