According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
