I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
