I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
