I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I would ride that face into the sunset
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