I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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