Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
