By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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