I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
