One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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