Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize