Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
