Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Randomize
